Promises Today

Hi peeps,

Wow, what a week I’ve had. I had some good news and some not so good news. Will start with the good.

I’m freeeeeeeeeeeee! I was discharged from the Lister Hospital on Thursday last week in regards to my first cancer (acinic cell carcinoma in parotid gland). This means that it’s over! I don’t need to worry about check ups or scans anymore. I won’t miss the build up to those appointments, the fear that this will be the moment they find that it’s come back. I will still need to be vigilent about checking my neck for any lumps and bumps, but I’m definitely celebrating the end of that particular journey. Thank you Lord for getting me through!

The not so good news was my apointment with my gyno this evening. My period came on Thursday and was very light so I made an appointment for today to have another scan. Basically there is no change, even after bleeding, there is still a thick lining in there. He also noticed that my ovaries are still very much active and I should actually be in the middle of my cycle, not having just bled. Weird. So, I’m not actually having a normal period at all. He called it intermenstrual bleeding. This means that Tamoxifen is likely mucking about with my cycles. There’s nothing sinister going on, it all looks healthy but it’s just not normal. I now have 2 choices, either I am monitored every few weeks to keep an eye on what happens and see if a pattern develops or I have an ablation procedure to burn it all out and make it all go away. My gyno is going to call my oncologist (Dr Shah, absolutely adore him!) to ask his opinion on the whole thing. He will then call me to discuss the 2 options. I’m also going to call Dr Shah and see what he thinks.

I was so disappointed to hear that things weren’t back to normal. I’ve had some mighty warriors praying for me over the last
few weeks and months. I wanted my healing. I was contending for it. I even dreamed about it. I had a dream that I went to the appointment and was told all was normal. Sigh…

But God.

So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. – 2 Corinthians 4:16

My incredible friend Sonya Chitty advised me to take my disappointment to God and say “hey Dad, this sucks.” It’s ok to say things like that to God. He’s Dad. He knows! Her equally incredible hubby Neil Chitty said “He is on the throne and is in control.” I just love that we are surrounded by such amazing people. I have some wonderful friends all over the world, most of them have been praying for me since all this started. Father, thank you for my friends. Thank you also for my family. I will be rounding off the week with a trip to London (I miss working in London…) for a spa afternoon! Then Refresh Your Christmas is on Friday evening. Refresh is the BethanyCC women’s ministry. Can’t wait to serve the girlies on Friday and also get a go in the hot tub!! Wahoo!

So, a week with ups and downs for sure. But this is what I’m standing in. This is what I’m believing in.

So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us — who was raised to life for us! — is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, NOT CANCER (I added that one!), not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: “They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.” None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing — nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable — absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us. Romans 8:31

I’ll keep you posted on my progress. 🙂
H
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